Want To Decorate Your Christmas Tree With Vagina Ornaments? Here You Go!


When I think of Christmas I think of two things: 1. Presents, and 2. The most delightful of vaginas. You do too?? In that case, you’ll want to keep reading because now you can decorate your Christmas tree with all of the trimmings (or maybe it’s just trim now. Ha!) thanks to some creative folks with an Etsy account and some free time.

The vagina is made of felt and comes complete with a small bell which is obviously supposed to be the clitoris. Probably one of the weirder ways you can “ring” in the new year if you end up purchasing this thing.

However if you’re not into just pink vaginas, the creators have a whole slew of colors for you to choose from including purple, green, orange-ish and blue, just in case you prefer to have your vaginas look like they need to go to the doctor pronto.

Calm down, Brendan. They’re just made of felt.

If you are interested in ordering some Christmas tree vagina ornaments, and why wouldn’t you, you can visit Etsy Shop “FeltMelons”. Unfortunately Etsy is telling us they’re taking a “short break” we only assume because SO many people are needing some damn felt vaginas and this woman has only two hands to create them all. Guess we’ll have to buy some felt penises instead this Christmas. *cue sad Charlie Brown music.

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