For Today in “No Way Anyone Believes This” we go to Ghana. That is where Bishop Daniel Obinim has convinced a group of followers that his healing, magical touch can perform miracles. This includes making a man who is lacking in the penis department to suddenly become more well-endowed. Seriously, you need to see dozens of men lining up to be touched by this dude’s amazing hands that have the power to transform them.
Not only does the controversial preacher say he has the ability to make their manhood mightier, but he proclaims on the televised sermons dubbed “Obinim TV” that he can spruce up anything you’d like. So forget making a New Year’s resolution to hit the gym or star eating more Kale. Bishop Obinim has your back. He told his congregation;
“If you do not like the looks of any part of your body, come to me, what do you want that I can’t offer? If you want big buttocks I can do it for you, if you want big breasts, I can help. If you have a small manhood, I can change them all when I come to the spiritual realm.”
It’s sort of like plastic surgery, but for people who don’t believe in going to doctors. Or just like in high school when I’d pray that I’d wake up and not be ugly. So far nobody has seen evidence that the peen pumping ceremony has worked as advertised. Other preachers have promised wealth and prosperity if you join their church, but getting a bigger package is a new one.
Obinim works out of the group that he founded, The International God’s Way Church in the central Ghana region of Ashanti. While the Bishop hopes to open more churches across Ghana, making bigger wangs and butts, I might suggest that he take on a new discophile who has already studied the scripture.
Sir Mix A Lot!
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