Married Teacher Arrested For Having 'Sex With Pupil On His Wife's Wedding Dress'


42-year-old Simon Ball, a teacher at an unspecified North Yorkshire school, is currently on trial for a variety of alleged sexual offences taking place throughout his career, yet have only managed to catch up with him of late. Imagine if you were an 18-year-old dude who was told he could get away with ANY crime he wanted…until he was 40. Would you do it?

This scenario is perfect for those of us with incurable terminal diseases, but for the rest of us who expect to live to at least 80 or beyond…probably not worth it.

According to The Sun, Ball was suspended from his teaching job at a North Yorkshire school last year after allegations were made by another pupil. While those allegations were being investigated, Ball then accepted another job at an independent school in Cambridgeshire, was given a “positive reference” from the North Yorkshire school and continued on his merry way. Because if there’s one thing you want to ask about as a school district’s HR department, it’s whether or not the dude you’re about to hire has been accused of diddling students underneath the bleachers at halftime.

Ball could’ve gotten away with it too…if he hadn’t gone and reportedly diddled ANOTHER girl at the second Cambridgeshire school.

Lesson learned: quit while you’re ahead. 

The prosecutor presiding over Ball’s case stated that “Ball had sex with one of the girls in different locations and on multiple occasions, including in the school music room and even on top of his wife’s wedding dress at his house.” In the surprise of the century, Ball and his wife have separated after the allegations came to light and she is even expected to give evidence against him at the trial. For those of you with ex-husbands or ex-wives who you vehemently loathe, imagine getting to watch as they get their shit pushed in during a criminal trial, then getting your turn at bat and jamming them up even further just to twist the knife in deeper. I’m salivating at the idea, and I only hate…well, I hate all of my exes. In fact I hate all people, places and things; basically nouns. So in other words, doing this to anyone sounds like a grand ol’ time :)

Discussing the case further, the prosecutor continued that Ball allegedly “had sex with one pupil in her bedroom while her parents were at home, and on one occasion a condom split and Ball took the girl to get a morning-after pill. The girl initially denied that the incidents happened as she ‘thought she was in love with him,’ but gave her account to police when officers approached her in 2015.” If you’re wondering how this guy managed to get away with banging his students for so long, his photo is absolutely baffling and offers no explanation whatsoever.

Via Twitter

Dude’s got one of those faces where you’re definitely not surprised that he’s involved in a teacher student sex scandal, but only in hindsight. If you didn’t know about the inappropriate relationships you’d assume he goes home every night, asks his wife for sex, gets rejected, and then goes down into the basement to jerk it to Hentai three nights a week before dinner. The choir boys in the background aren’t exactly helping his case for normalcy either.

In the end, Ball admitted to five counts of engaging in sexual activity while in a position of trust at the Cambridgeshire school, but denies four counts of indecent assault as well as five counts of engaging in sexual activity while in a position of trust while employed at the school in North Yorkshire. According to The Sun, the charges range from holding a girl’s hand under a blanket on a school trip to penetrative sex, all with three girls in their early teens.

His trial is currently ongoing, though from my unprofessional, lightly informed position…the dude is completely boned. 



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