Logically meat really is murder no matter how you look at it, the vegetarians are not wrong. However they don’t have to be a douche about it. Us meat eaters get it. Something had to DIE for us to eat that double bacon cheeseburger. It’s just that we love eating tasty animals and that is the order of things. This needs to get in my mouth immediately:
But the next time a vegetarian or their fundamentalist counterparts, a vegan comes at you screaming about the bloody steak sliding down your throat or the pus loaded in milk and cheese you can smugly explain how by only eating vegetables they are actually contributing to animal death. Wait, what?
According to renowned naturalist Claudio Bertonatti, a former vegetarian who studied the effect of farming and crop production on wildlife, there are no humans who do not in some way contribute to animal death. Bertonatti says;
“From the moment that humans began to raise cattle and adopt agriculture we generated an impact. There is no animal species whose survival doesn’t result in the death of other animals, whether directly or indirectly. I understand that this can be a painful realization. I’d also like to live in an ideal world, but that’s not the reality. Many vegans and people who only wear cotton seem to believe they don’t cause any deaths, but they do.”
He goes on to say; “Wheat, rice, corn. Most vegans eat these things. The first impact of mass cultivation is deforestation: we force nature out to make room for crops. In Argentina, they set fire to the jungle, burning nests with flamethrowers. Then they must defend the sown land from the birds who come to feed; many landowners do this by scattering poisoned grains. After that, the wild herbivores come looking for the first shoots, so the landowners put up electric fences or hunt the animals down with guns.”
But is this a logically sound argument? A few birds had to die for a lettuce patch, but does that really equal the thousands of cows that are slaughtered every day for our quarter pounders with cheese? To me the choice is simple. If you are concerned that the type of food you eat is causing the death of animals and as we have just discovered, eating vegetables does no good. Then you should become a Breatharian. A Breatharian is a movement that allegedly teaches people how to live off of the energy of the universe and sustain themselves WITHOUT FOOD, through meditation eating off of air, sunlight and water. There is a man named Wiley Brooks who has been a Breatharian for a long time, and for one small payment you can learn how to become one too.
This guy was caught at a McDonald’s once, no joke.
Just sign up on his website which totally doesn’t sound like the ramblings of a schizophrenic homeless person. Four people have already died trying to become a Breatharian, but I’m sure they were doing it wrong, you will be The One.
This should make up for all that vegatarian talk.
Telling vegetarians that they are wasting their time not eating meat because animals dies from vegetable farming is We have seen this type of argument made before when it comes to arguments in favor of things “environmentally friendly.”
They say that “solar farms” the type of solar energy plants that reflect sunlight should not be built because they fry birds in the process. So when you are saving the environment you are actually killing up to 3,500 birds a year from all those solar death rays bouncing around the desert.
Another argument that I love has been made against reusable “environmentally friendly” grocery bags. While they might “save the environment” you could get a horrible disease. The citizens of California just voted to ban plastic bags from grocery stores. For the past several years the push for reusable bags has made gains in lefty hotbeds like San Francisco and Los Angeles. After Proposition 67 passed on November 8th, now every grocery store in the state is forbidden from asking “paper or plastic?” You can either pay 10 cents for each paper bag you use, OR you can bring your own reusable bags from home. Even if you think Global Warming is a lie and a huge conspiracy put forth by Al Gore to take away good coal mining jobs, there is something to be said about getting people to reuse bags, right? Why fart out a bunch of plastic that gets used one time when you can just bring your own dang bag? It’s a waste of effort and manpower, right? Wrong. Some in California reacted to the plastic bag grocery ban by saying they would go out and buy their own PLASTIC bags to bring to the grocery store as a way of fighting back against this attack on their freedom.
While this man is a damn genius, showing those California enviro-nazi’s who the BOSS is, there is another option. For $25 you can also buy a pack of 10 reusable grocery tote bags that you never have to replace.
I know; the phrase “remember to grab your tote bags while going to Safeway” is not that manly. However there might be a more serious reason to not want to reuse bags. Vegetarians stuffing their cabbage and celery into their reusable bags may actually be hurting themselves in the long run. According to the Great American Packaging website the top reason for not using reusable bags is that repeated use of these sacks could contaminate your food. “The norovirus is a contagious fast spreading stomach bug that survives in dark moist places such as reusable grocery bags.” In addition they say that the paint from the bags could also chip off into your veggies. Are they getting tote bags made at Sherwin Williams?
Break Debate: should vegetarians and vegans give up trying to not eat meat since all type of farming cause animal death?
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