Imagine that someone close to you is dying, and despite your best efforts — witchcraft, doctors, a large bottle of Pepto-Bismol — their condition is terminal because you can’t afford the treatment. What would you do? There’s always the option of a GoFundMe, but the only pages that get any attention on there are “exceptional” ones, i.e. “My brother fought in the Vietnam war and lost all his arms. He is now a nugget. Help him achieve his dreams of running a marathon on his hands by donating HERE!!!!” For Xu Yanhua, a 19-year-old high school student in China, her brother’s leukemia unfortunately isn’t unique enough to go viral.
Until she decided to try selling her virginity, that is.
Spotted this past Monday on a subway in Hangzhou, Xu carried around a giant poster board advertising her untouched vagina. “The treatment will cost more than 200,000 yuan” she wrote, “My family can’t afford it. Which kind-hearted person can save my brother?” Daily Mail even reports that Xu claimed to have a hospital-issued certificate proving that no hotdog had ever made its way into her soggy bun. Because when boning a 19-year-old girl desperate for money, the thing at the front of your mind should be whether or not she’s lying about her virgin status; not what a scumbag you are for taking advantage of the poor girl’s bad situation. You could argue “Hey, SOMEONE is going to take her up on that offer, it might as well be me since my Herpes at least aren’t in outbreak,” or instead, y’know, just throw her a few donations and be off on your merry way.
It’s not like this was Xu’s first choice anyway. The poor girl’s family had reportedly spent all their savings on a bone marrow transplant for her brother, however he suffered a negative reaction to the operation and continued to deteriorate.
And you know what? I totally get Xu. Call her a whore, slut, prostitute, whatever — but if you were in the same situation, out of cash and out of time — you can’t tell me with a straight face that you wouldn’t at least entertain doing something similar. My mom died from ovarian cancer three years ago this December, and I would take 500 dicks to the face just to have her back for a week.
Sadly, Xu’s brother wasn’t exactly thrilled with his sister’s fundraising efforts. When a reporter from 163.com visited him in the hospital and explained what his sister had been trying to do, he said “Now I know how foolish she is” and that he was “crippled by the burden he put on his family and just wanted his sister to return back home and continue her studies.” Yeah, and I want a penthouse apartment with a butler who dances the Macarena every time the toaster dings. Yet here I am, living in a hovel with three chicks who still have no idea how to unload a dishwasher. Tough shit, kid.
Despite having the best intentions at heart, Xu didn’t manage to sell her virginity as police received calls about her sign and took her back to the local station to question her motives. After explaining her brother’s situation, officers confiscated the poster and sent her home after telling her that what she was attempting to do was illegal, which means absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. Is prostitution illegal? Yep. Are drugs illegal? Yep. Is downloading music without paying for it illegal? Yep. Between those three actions, at least 90% of the world would be in prison if we actually followed the letter of the law to a T.
Rules are made to be broken. At least in this case they’re being broken with good intentions.